Question Time

MUSIC: HAIL TO THE CHIEF

AVO: Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.

BARACK OBAMA: Thank you.  My fellow Americans.  As you may have heard, I have been getting a lot of positive attention for a Q and A session I conducted last week with members of the Republican congress.  I spent over an hour with those dingbats, and basically took them to school.  It went so well, I tried the same thing this week with congressional Democrats, but most of them just wanted pictures and autographs.

Now, these Q and As are both challenging and politically risky, but I wanted to go even further.  So I found the one group of people even more slack-jawed, more ill-informed and more belligerent than Congress…YouTube commenters.  And guess what?  I crushed that one, too.

So this is going to be like my new thing.  George W. Bush was “The Decider” - I’m gonna be “The Answerer.”  You got a question, I got an answer.  If this was an episode of Jersey Shore, I’d be called “The Explanation.”  So I’m ready to take questions, here today.

POLITICAL JOURNALIST WITH BRAINS AND A CONSCIENCE WHO IS OBVIOUSLY FICTIONAL: I have a question, Mr. President.  Why did you and your party throw in the towel so quickly on health care?  First you said your preferred system was single payer, but you never proposed it.  Then you tried a public option, but gave up in the face of right wing misinformation.  And now it looks like the only health care bill we might get is basically a mandate that millions of cash-strapped Americans now have to buy health insurance from the same loosely regulated private companies that have been abusing the system all along.  Is it possible that you’re just another corporate shill, controlled by the same powerful special interests as just about every politician out there, and that this whole “hope and change” thing was just a load of crap?

BARACK OBAMA: Any questions at all.  Let ‘em rip.

PJWBAACWIOF: OK, well, let’s take your economic policy.  Do you really think the people that elected you wanted a continuation of the same Bush policies that—

BARACK OBAMA: Nothing?  No…no questions for me?

PJWBAACWIOF: And what about the two wars we’re bogged down in—

BARACK OBAMA: OK, I think this went great.  I’m gonna get going.  God Bless America!